Today is the 4th anniversary of Hannah's memorial service. In a way that date hits me as much as December 20th.
In some ways it's harder, since I don't remember the 20th at all and can't even pinpoint the day or time when I realized she had died -- I was in such a fog from my own injuries. But the memorial service was the day when I could no longer pretend that it hadn't happened; we were there with probably close to 300 other people for the express purpose of acknowledging her death. I put it off as long as I could, but we ultimately had to do it.
And another quirky thing that's bothering me is that on February 10, Emily will have lived longer than Hannah did -- Hannah was 5 yrs, 8mo and 3 days when she died. I obviously want Emily to live a long happy life, but it is another way that it feels we're leaving Hannah behind, and that hurts too.
